![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
on_holy_groundI told them to leave, that I was no longer interested in taking the city of Paris, or any other city for that matter. I advised them to return to their homes and families, although I hardly expected most of them to take my advice, given the violent nature of the men that had followed me. I knew that in all likelihood they would simply find someone else to lead them into yet another battle, perhaps even one of my former commanders.
I saw their eyes change, turning from respect and a sort of camaraderie, to confusion and eventually anger. Yet they did as I asked.
They walked away from Paris and from me and it was in that moment that I felt the most alone. Not because I regretted what I had to do, but because I had come to realize that there was no one in the world that I could talk to who had experienced what I had just been through. There was no other who had taken a quickening like mine who would understand what it was like to have your life change so completely in the space of only a few moments.
For me it was to lose everything and everyone that had meant anything to me and to know that there was no one that I could turn to for help or solace, because I truly was alone.
It lasted only a moment, and yet it is a moment that I will never forget.
I saw their eyes change, turning from respect and a sort of camaraderie, to confusion and eventually anger. Yet they did as I asked.
They walked away from Paris and from me and it was in that moment that I felt the most alone. Not because I regretted what I had to do, but because I had come to realize that there was no one in the world that I could talk to who had experienced what I had just been through. There was no other who had taken a quickening like mine who would understand what it was like to have your life change so completely in the space of only a few moments.
For me it was to lose everything and everyone that had meant anything to me and to know that there was no one that I could turn to for help or solace, because I truly was alone.
It lasted only a moment, and yet it is a moment that I will never forget.
