RP ~ Finding Ynez

[on_holy_ground]

After his return to New York, Darius left things alone for a week or so, feeling it was best to let her come to him rather than for him to search her out. However, his need to know why she left grew stronger as each day passed. The note did give him a fairly good idea, but he still wanted to hear it from her directly. Eventually though, his ability to wait her out failed him and he hired a man to see if he could discover where she might have gone.

It was about a week after that that the man returned with what he had discovered. It seemed that Ynez had continued to use her credit cards after she left Rome, and had left a trail that had led to Madrid, then London, and just recently right back here to New York. As far as the investigator could tell, she was still here in the city, and her most recent purchases put her in the area close to her apartment.

Darius paid the man, then immediately left to find out if she was indeed, back home. He made his way to her building, then to her door, and after a moment's hesitation, he finally knocked. Now, he simply had to wait to see if anyone answered.

Comments

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez isn't expecting anyone and has no idea who might be at the door. Maybe a delivery? She hasn't ordered anything.

She looks through the peephole in the door. Her jaw drops and her heart starts hammering.

What is he doing here?

For more than one cowardly second, she thinks about hiding. Just don't open the door, make it all end. He'll have to go away.

She misses him too much to do that. The pull to talk with him, to be in his presence is just too strong. Carefully, she tucks her feelings away and makes her face a blank, then opens the door.

"Darius."

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He looks at her for a moment, just taking in her presence more than anything. Darius wasn't willing to admit it to himself just yet, but he had missed her far more than he had thought possible. It seemed like their time apart had only made him need her in some way all the more.

His face however, is as blank as her own.

"Ynez."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez squeezes her hand into a fist to keep from reching out to touch him. Her nails bite into her palm.

What is he doing here?

"Please, cone in." She steps back from the doorway. "Mi casa es su casa. I believe I've told you that before. Can I get you anything to drink? Are you hungry?"

Hospitality is an instinct when nothing else in her brain seems to be working.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He steps through the door and glances around the apartment for a moment before he finally looks at her.

"No thank you, I'm fine."

Except that wasn't entirely true. He wasn't hungry or thirsty, but he was hardly fine either.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Small talk would be absurd. She can hardly ask him what brings him to New York, or how he is, can she?

Maybe.

But she needs a little space first.

"I was just going to put on a pot of coffee. Please, sit down, make yourself comfortable." She gestures towards the couch. Coffee is such a good idea when she's stressed.

"I'll be right back." She vanishes into the kitchen -- flees is not too strong a word -- only stopping to grab a couple of Jackson's toys from the couch as she goes.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius lifts an eyebrow at the toys Ynez picks up, wondering exactly who they belong too. He doesn't recall seeing much of that nature the last time he visited, although granted, that was some time ago. He then watches her practically run into the kitchen, obviously to get away from him, and he frowns a bit more.

Perhaps Methos was right about what he should do after all.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Her hands shake while she's making the coffee. What is he doing here? She thought they were through. He'd wanted her to leave, and she left.

Now here he is again.

What does it mean?

What does he want?

She hadn't taken anything from the villa that wasn't hers.

What does he want?

There are only two choices: she can ask him to leave or she can ask him what he's here for. She doesn't want to let herself get tied into knows again, not like she'd been in Rome. Life is too short. She laughs at herself. For one of them, it is.

She's been gone too long. Stopping in the doorway to the kitchen, Ynez takes a deep breath and speaks.

"Why are you here, Darius?"

It's easy when she doesn't let herself think. If she just balls up all her pain and fear and missing him and loving him into a little tiny ball, she can squeeze it over to the side until it's gone.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He looks at her for a moment, then gets to his feet, walking over to her. His eyes now are soft, although there is a hesitation in them that is very, very unusual. The hesitation only lasts a moment though, before it is replaced with a look of resolve. This had gone on for far too long.

Before she can say anything to stop him, he caresses her cheek with one hand, sliding it back into her hair as he leans in and very softly, kisses her.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez watches him approach, impassive, not sure what's on his mind. Her eyes fly open in shock when she realizes that he's going to kiss her. Then his lips are touching hers, and she's too surprised to respond at first. Her heart skips a beat. It feels like her brain short-circuits.

But his hand is in her hair and she can feel the warmth of his body. Her hand closes convulsively on his arm. She kisses him back.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He is relieved that she is kissing him, rather than slapping his face for taking such a liberty with her.

Keeping the kiss slow, and soft, he only continues it for a few more moments before he pulls away, reluctantly. However, he stays close as he whispers softly, "I love you too."

After all, she had said as much in her note.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"What?" It's only a murmur. She blinks, confused. Did she miss something?

The note. She isn't thinking about the note. If he had mentioned the note at all before kissing her, she'd have laughed it off and denied it, desperate to protect herself. Of course, he hasn't mentioned it.

And Ynez is just stunned.

"You what?"

Did he say love?

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He pulls back a bit so he can look her in the eyes, and he reaches up with one hand to brush a curl back behind her ear. "Love you."

Darius wants to make sure she hears him that time, so he enunciates each word. "I. Love. You."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

This can't be happening. Surreptitiously, Ynez pinches herself. He's shown up in her dreams so many times over the past few weeks, months even, but this isn't one of them.

Her face flushes. Her heart is beating so hard that she wonders if her can hear it.

"Oh."

What else to say? The short-circuit in her brain is making her stupid and it shows on her face: shock, confusion, surprise.

"I didn't expect this."

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He would be somewhat amused at her pinching, if this were at all an amusing situation. However, at the moment it is anything but, and he does recognize that fact.

"To be perfectly honest, I did not expect it either, and yet it has happened just the same."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez has longed for him for months, but she never thought anything would come of it except misery. Weeks of missing him washes over her. She reaches for him.

"Hold me."

This still feels crazy. Impossible. Is this really happening?

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He wasn't actually expecting her to take it this well, all things considered. Even with the note, it was often hard to tell what she was really thinking. Of course, that was often true of most women, or so he had heard.

However, he didn't hesitate to slip his arms around her when she asked him to, and to hold her close to him. It was as if a great weight had been lifted from his chest.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tight.

This is crazy. The one thing she wanted most in the world. The one thing she wouldn't let herself want. The one person. Her thoughts are still confused, but when she thinks about the way she left him, she feels so ashamed.

"Oh, Darius, I'm so sorry, so so sorry." And what else happens when she's under stress, or even more, when the stress breaks and lifts?

Ynez starts to cry.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius has spent most of his life dealing with people crying on his shoulder, sometimes even in the literal sense, but it was somehow rather different when he was the reason for the crying. Also, the simple fact that it was Ynez, made it that much worse.

"Shhhh, it is okay. I can understand why you might have felt the need to run, given who I am and my prior vocation. There's no need for tears."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Poor Darius. He doesn't understand. Telling her that there's no need for tears is guaranteed to make it worse. She doesn't deserve his kindness, not after the way she acted. Certainly she doesn't feel like she deserves his love.

Sobbing, she asks his shoulder, "Why didn't you ask me to go to Paris with you?!"

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

His hand strokes her hair, but pauses for a moment at her question. He had thought she wanted him to get out of her hair for a little while, given the way things had been going. He hadn't considered that she had still wanted to go to Paris with him.

"I thought that perhaps we needed some time to collect ourselves, being as how we had been having some problems communicating."

Understatement.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"I want to go to Paris with you!"

Ynez can't stop sobbing and she can't think straight. She latches onto this one idea right now -- Paris, Darius's city -- and makes it the most important thing in the world.

Her entire life has just been turned upside down. Her hands had been shaking before, but now her whole body trembles. His hand in her hair is soothing; all she wants now is to cling to him and never stop. She's so afraid that if she lets go, he'll vanish.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius doesn't mention that his ties to Paris were connected more to the church than to the city itself, because it seems like such a small thing. In reality, he is lying to himself for believing it. His connections to Paris ran far deeper than St. Julien's.

"If you wish, we can go back there. It will just take a day or two in order to get things in order."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"No, I just... I mean..."

Ynez takes a deep quavery breath, trying to calm herself down. She pulls away from him a little to rub her face.

"I want to go. But I can't leave just yet. Probably in the next week or two, I'm not exactly sure, but not that fast."

She realizes that she must look like hell. So much crying.

"I need to wash my face. And go to Madrid, too, some of my things are still in Madrid."

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He wants to ask her why she came back, since he knew that she had been avoiding New York altogether. Remembering the toys, he wondered if perhaps that had something to do with her return.

However, he doesn't as at the moment, he simply nods. "Go wash up if you wish, and I will be here when you return."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"I'll be right back." She pulls away, feeling bereft and frightened as soon as she does. This is so hard to believe.

The cool water feels good on her swollen face. She looks carefully at herself in the mirror, completely dissatisfied with everything she sees. Briefly, she touches her fingertips to her lips.

He kissed her.

A chaste kiss, but understandably so.

How long has it been since he's kissed a woman? It's absolutely none of her business, but she knows his vows were important to him. More than important. He'd said something about his vocation, but she hadn't really followed. Her brain hadn't been working.

She isn't sure that it is now.

Suddenly, she's afraid he'll be gone, he'll change his mind, something terrible will happen. When she finds him exactly where she left him, a confusing mixture of feelings nearly overwhelms her. Without thinking, she says, "You kissed me."