RP - Returning A Missed Call

[on_holy_ground]

Darius had never been good with technology. It was all so cold and impersonal, and he preferred dealing with real people. He had started to wonder however, if technology was aware of his dislike and made a point of breaking down at the worst possible time.

Take yesterday for instance. He had pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket as it started to ring, and had lost his grip. Unfortunately, he had been shaving at the time and the device had landed in a sinkful of water. Even after spending the afternoon letting it dry out he could not get it to work again, and the worst part was that he had lost Ynez' phone number along with the use of the phone.

It wasn't until just recently that he remembered he had put her number on the computer as well, and had booted it up in order to find it. While he was there, he saw that he had a message from Ynez as well. He read it, then left it unanswered as he decided it would be best if he just called her instead.

After a few moments, he finally found her number and took a moment to call her. From the landline, of course.

Comments

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

When her phone goes off, Ynez is in the Los Angeles airport, in the ladies room, specifically. Her plane just landed, she hasn't gotten her luggage or car yet, nothing. She just hung up from talking with Tia Maria, finding out what news there is (not much) and where she should go (the hospital).

When she sees the international number, she wants to cry. It's Darius. Or somebody with news about head-chopping.

"Hello?"

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

"Ynez? It's Darius." Her voice is a bit fuzzy sounding, probably due to the distance.

"My apologies for missing your earlier calls. I had a bit of a situation with my mobile phone."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"Oh God, Darius." And now she's standing in the ladies room at the airport crying. "Are you okay? I didn't know what to think. I wanted to tell you I got in and the everything was fine."

If the fiasco at Kara's could be called fine. Fine like a train wreck.

"What happened to your phone?"

One of the toilets flushes. It's loud and the noise echoes.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He has to pull the phone away from his ear for a moment until the noise dies down enough that he can hear her again.

"I had a bit of an accident yesterday morning, probably when you first tried to call." He pauses for a moment, rather embarassed about the whole thing. "My fingers were a bit wet because I was shaving and it fell from my hand and into the sink. I'm afraid they don't work very well once they get wet."

Which was a complete understatement, considering he couldn't even get the phone to turn on long enough to get Ynez' number out of it.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Sometimes he just sort of makes her laugh and cry at the same time. Ynez can just imagine what really happened. Of course his phone didn't work very well when it got wet.

"Did you get my e-mail? I'm in Los Angeles, in the airport, I e-mailed to tell you. Darius, my papi had a heart attack."

Jesucristo, that's the first time she's said the words out loud. Her voice didn't even wobble. Something inside her freezes and her tears dry up, just like that. Her brain can't hold onto it all, what she was going to tell him yesterday, what happened today, all of it boils up inside her and comes spilling out, confusion and chaos and fear.

"I'm so sorry I kept picking fights with you. I just wanted you to know. And Kara's baby is so cute! But I have to go to the hospital from here, Papi's just gone back in surgery. Those women are so loud!"

That last in response to a couple of women who have just walked into the bathroom, yammering away at the top of their lungs at their impending trip to the Big Island. Ynez wants to scream at them, "Stop! Shut up! This is more important!" She jams her knuckle in her ear instead, hoping to be able to hear him.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Pressing the phone closer to his ear, he hopes that will help him to be able to hear her over all the backround noise on top of the static that was already there to begin with.

"I am sorry as well. We are both under a great deal of stress these days, and that can make any relationship more difficult."

He shifts the phone to the other ear, and finds it is a bit easier to her her that way, especially if he covers his free ear with one hand. "I am very sorry to hear about your papi. Of course you should be there for him and your family. Is there anything at all that I can do?"

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"You don't have anything to apologize for, Darius. Oh, dammit, hold on!"

Woman with crying baby now. Normally it wouldn't bother Ynez a bit, but the noise makes it impossible to hear him. Outside the ladies room, its oddly quiet. The sound is muffled better or something.

"This might be better. It was so loud in there! What did you say?"

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

The noise level having dropped considerably, he now has a better time understanding her, although the static is still there.

"I asked if there was anything that I could do to help you and your family, even if it is only to offer support."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Suddenly, Ynez wishes he were there, with her, strong enough that it's like physical hunger. The phone is good, and hearing his voice helps so much, but it isn't enough. Even if he wouldn't hold her the way she wants to be held, his presence would make her feel so much less alone and scared. It would be easier to be brave in the face of whatever's going to happen if he were here.

"No, not really. I mean, I'll let you know what's happening, but I can't think of anything you can do, really."

That sounds forlorn and she doesn't mean it to.

"I hate that you're so far away."

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

"I wish that I were closer as well."

He doesn't like not being near her, even if that simply means they are in the same house. It is as if he is missing a piece of himself when she is not there. It is an odd sensation, but one that he finds he is glad of just the same.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

If he's not going to offer to come, she's not going to ask. Her pride still makes her stupid, especially at times when she most needs it not to.

"Kara's baby was so adorable, did I tell you? It was so strange being there, I'm not really comfortable around Kara, but having a chance to hold that little girl made it worth it. Mostly."

Not just Kara, but Alan Shore, together and making her want to jump out of her skin. If Ynez looks at the past couple days in a certain way, they seem very much like hell, but in the center, the one redeeming element, the little pink and gold baby.

"She really looks like Kara, only chubby. She had those cute little fat baby arms and legs. I wanted to take her home with me. But I had to leave her there."

And she hates that, for oh so many many reasons.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius would normally have offered to join her, but given the tension between them as of late and despite her apology, he's not sure she would really want him there. Her family seemed to be one of those things that she kept mostly to herself, despite the bit he knew from their previous conversations.

"I am glad that you had the chance to see the child. There are few things in the world that are as joyful as holding a baby in your arms."

It was something he knew quite well, as he had given numerous baptism's over the years and held more babies than he could possibly count. Each one though had been a moment of pure happiness.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"Kara was making some noises about me being godmother, but she got mad at me and changed her mind."

A sudden spurt of bitter resentment bubbles up. The whole situation had been ugly beneath the surface and Ynez is still furious.

"I heard her and Alan talking about me behind my back. 'Ynez is a sensitive soul.' That's what Kara said, only she said it in a way that showed just how much contempt she has for my feelings. And then she teased me with being godmother, then turned around and asked somebody else. It just isn't fair! There's no dealing with her, she's impossible and I knew it, but I went anyway. And now she has a baby she has no way of coping with."

And I don't. Always the unspoken part. Ynez has no baby, not even a godchild. It's almost eneough to make her forget her worry about her father. She feels well and truly abused by the past few days. If she didn't hate Alan and Kara before this trip, she certainly does now, and more certainly after seeing how much they hate her.

Ynez doesn't usually regret her generous impulses. Not usually.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius sighs softly, saddened to hear about what had happened with regards to the young mother. He had heard that Kara was somewhat difficult to deal with, but had hoped that perhaps things would go well for Ynez regardless of what he had heard. It would seem that just wasn't the case.

"I am sorry that things did not go better for you on your trip to see the child. I wish that such things did not happen to anyone, least of all you."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"It's just not fair, Darius!"

Ynez is sure that he is sorry that it happened, but he doesn't sound sorry enough. She adds an extra measure of her own self-pity and outraged sense of justice to make up the difference.

"She doesn't deserve a baby! I could tell that she didn't really want her, the only time she picked her up when I was there was when I was holding her already, so she could assert her rights as mother. Every chance they had, both of them, let's remind Ynez that we think she's worthless! And it made me so mad!"

Hurt feelings make her angry. Anger is easier than hurt. Ynez realizes she's getting loud, not that anybody passing by in the airport really cares. It bothers her that somehow Kara and Alan have turned her into that crazy lady complaining loudly to her cell phone, in a public place no less. Carefully, she lowers her voice.

"The worst part is that it made me see how much I'm like her, the way I take the people who care about me for granted. You offer her help and she rejects it, nothing anybody ever does is good enough for her, and watching the way she hurts anyone who doesn't do exactly what she thinks they should, it's embarrassing! It made me so so sorry. I don't want to act like an unstable teenage girl with you, Darius. I'm so sorry. It isn't right. You deserve better than that."

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He listens to her quietly, knowing that sometimes the best way to deal with such emotions is to let them out. Talking may not get rid of the hurt and anger, but it makes it somewhat less volatile in the long run.

"Perhaps this trip was a way for us both to learn something of importance. Kara's behavior has allowed you to see something within yourself that you wish to improve upon, just as your absense has taught me something I wish to change as well."

Pausing for a moment, he looks out the window into the garden, which is still covered in frost. "I realized that I have not learned how to speak your language, and it is something that I wish to work on when you return to Rome. Not your native language, but the one you speak with your heart."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

There are times when Darius says something that is completely incomprehensible, so completely that he might as well be speaking ancient Goth. Every time it happens, the conversation slams to a halt while Ynez tries to figure out what he just said.

This is one of those times.

The language she speaks with her heart?

What?

Silence echoes hollowly through the phone line.

What did he mean by that?

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

When she doesn't speak for several moments. he decides that perhaps he needs to elaborate a bit more on his meaning. This kind of thing happens to him rather frequently, so he's gotten good at reading the silences.

"Our heart speaks it's own language, and like many languages, there can be different dialects. It is through this 'language' that we show love for the people around us. It is also how we percieve love, and because not everyone speaks the the language the same way, we may not always show someone love the way that they feel love. For instance, for me love is something that I do. It is through helping others that I show my love for them."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"Oh," she says, trying not to feel defensive. Is he saying that she doesn't try to help people she loves? Is he saying he doesn't understand her? What is he trying to tell her?

Something else to worry about.

"Well, okay, if you think it would be good, we can talk about it when I get back." Her reluctance is obvious in her tone, and now she doesn't exactly want to see him again right away. She has a feeling there will be lecturing involved, and after a day with Kara, that's the last thing she's ready to put up with.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He can hear her reluctance, but doesn't understand why it would be there. All he was saying was that they should talk about how they viewed love to make sure that both of them were giving and recieving what they needed. He would have thought she would have wanted that as much as he did.

"All right. Do you know how long you will be gone yet?"

It was hard to say when it came to the health of another, but he was missing her presence.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez doesn't like talking about love anymore. It hurts. And, truth to tell, she only expects disappointment now. Her expectations are pretty low, especially after time spent around people she used to care about deeply. Right now, she isn't much feeling like she can count on anyone, so if she wants Darius in her life, she'll have to change to please him.

"I don't know, they had my father in ICU and then something happened and he's probably in surgery again right this minute." She looks around anxiously, who knows for what. "I should probably go now. I need to get my things and get to the hospital. I'll call you later."

She misses him so much. It's on the tip of her tongue to ask him to come to Los Angeles, but then she changes her mind. This isn't the time for Lupe to meet him. It just isn't. Ynez doesn't know when that will be, but she knows this isn't it.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius knows that she has much on her mind, and he attributes her reluctance to that more than anything else. After what had happened with Kara, and now with her father, it was no wonder that she sounds as upset as she does.

"Please do, and do not hesitate to let me know if you need anything. Anything at all."

There is a pause as he hopes she understands that he means he would be there in a moment if she needed him.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez is hoisting her carryon bag up on her shoulder and not paying as much attention to his words as she could be.

"I will, I promise."

Of course, it's entirely possible that she wouldn't understand his subtext anyway. She's been getting that wrong a lot lately.

"I have to run now, I'll call later. Love you!"

She ends the call without waiting for his answer. She doesn't want to hear the answer she expects him to give. Rather, she doesn't want to hear the way he answers.

So many low expectations.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He starts to answer when he hears the click of the phone line as it disconnects. Pulling the phone from his ear, he looks at it for a moment before setting it gently back down on it's cradle.

"I love you too."

She may not have heard it, but he would say it just the same in the hopes that somehow she would know.