RP - Back In New York

[on_holy_ground]

As soon as Darius had finished talking to Ynez, he prepared to leave for New York. It didn't take him long to pack what he needed and make all the necessary arrangements. The next available flight didn't leave for several hours, but he used the time to make sure that the villa would be taken care of for a few weeks and that everything was in good order.

Finally, he got to the airport and made it through security and eventually was boarded onto the plane. It was a long flight, but he manages to nap through a good deal of it, and had brought a book to pass the rest of the time. When the plane finally landed in New York, it was late afternoon.

After gathering his things, he found a taxi and had it take him directly to Ynez's apartment. Things had been strained between them for some time, but he hoped that the time they had been apart had helped them both understand what was causing the tension and figure out ways that they could work through it better. He thought the various conversations they had over the phone had gone a long way towards helping, but he knew that sometimes being face to face could make things difficult again.

Darius hoped that such would not be the case as he set his bag on the floor outside the door of the apartment and knocked gently.

Comments

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez isn't expecting anybody, that's for sure. Todd was yesterday -- the apartment still smells vaguely of his presence -- and she doesn't know when to expect Darius. He hasn't answered the phone, cell or landline. For all she knows, she did something to kill them both. He said he'd be coming and she wants to meet his plane and she doesn't know what she's supposed to do. Why doesn't he call her?

"Hell---oh?" She swings the door open and her jaw drops open in surprise.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Under other circumstances the look on her face would likely be somewhat amusing. However all things considered, he now realizes that it might have been better if he has told her when he was getting into town rather than simply arriving upon her doorstep.

Looking slightly flustered at his own thoughtlessness, he looks down at the floor for a moment before meeting her eyes. "Surprise?"

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez doesn't want to acknowledge how surprised she is to see him. She hadn't expected it to be him at the door and then he's there, and it upsets her to be taken unaware like that. She almost wants to hit him, but after a long moment looking at him in shock thinks to step back so he can come inside. She crosses her arms firmly over her stomach and watches him anxiously.

"Did you lose your key?"

He should still have it, shouldn't he? Did she take it back and not remember? She's been forgetting things recently and it worries her. A lot. Every time she turns around these days, she sees herself doing things -- or failing to do them -- under a blinking neon sign that says "BRAIN DAMAGED". In big red letters.

"You still have it, don't you?"

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius picks up his bag and steps into the house, looking even more flustered than before if that's even possible at this point. He hadn't really meant to upset her with his arrival, and he was mentally kicking himself for not telling her when he was getting in.

"I do have it, but in my haste to leave it would seem that I left it on the table in the entryway of the villa, along with my mobile phone."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Well, okay." She steps past him to lock the door, and to tell herself that it's locked, so she doesn't need to check it later. "I'll get another copy made for you right away."

Ynez hovers nervously next to him for a moment, wanting to open her arms and reach out to him but too afraid of rejection to try. Instead, she passes him once again and heads for the couch where she begins straightening the cushions. They're already straight, but it doesn't matter.

His sudden arrival has thrown her totally off balance. Her anxiety is going through the roof and she doesn't know how to behave with him now. Six weeks is a long time to be apart with their relationship in such a fragile state, and it's all her fault to begin with. She knows that she doesn't want to take her tension out on him, but she doesn't know what to do instead.

Except straighten cushions. That she can do.

"How was your flight? Are you hungry? It's way past dinnertime in Rome."

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius sets his bag down next to the couch as he slips out of his jacket and then hangs it up in the closet. Once that's done, he walks over and watches her for just a moment.

She's nervous or something. He can tell because not only is she straightening up, but she asked him about food. She tends to do this when she isn't sure what to say.

After a moment, he walks up to her and gently places a hand on her shoulder. "The flight was fine, if a bit long. We had dinner on the plane though, so I am not very hungry at the moment."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"I have empanadas," she babbles, "I made a ton yesterday and only cooked half. I was planning on leftovers for a while." While she was making up her mind to leave for Rome. Guess that's on hold for now. Or at least there's someone else to consult with now.

Ynez forces herself not to pull away from his hand, but it feels priestly, and that disturbs her.

"You can put your bag in the bedroom. Or I'll take it, never mind."

That gives her an excuse, at any rate. She steps away from him, intent on the luggage.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius sighs softly, letting his hand drop and feeling like already she is trying to avoid him. He had simply wanted to offer his touch, to let her know that he was working on his own issues in those regards. Now he wonders if coming to see her here was a good idea after all.

"I can take the bag. It is not a problem."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"Never mind, I've got it." And she does. She carries the suitcase down the hall into the bedroom, hoping that a little space will help her calm down. She doesn't know why his arrival has thrown her so badly off balance, but it has. She wants him to be here, doesn't she? She asked him to come.

Once in the bedroom, she decides to change the sheets on the bed for him, even though she already has. It will give her something to do that might help her calm down a little, even if she is worrying about him in the other room by himself now. What is he thinking?

Ynez exhausts herself this way every day now. Spending six weeks with her family was so much worse for her than she realizes.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He has already discovered that there is simply no stopping her when she gets it in her mind to do something, and so he simply lets her go. He considers following her for a moment, but then doesn't because she seems to need the space. Why else would she have found a reason to leave the room so quickly?

As he sits down on the couch for a moment, he looks down at his hands as questions flood his mind. Did she even want him here? Did she only ask him because she felt it was what he wanted, rather than what she wanted? Had coming here now been a mistake?

He simply didn't know anymore.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

It doesn't take long to remake the bed. She won't unpack for him, that would be intrusive, a Lupe trick, nothing she'd stoop to. That means that it's time to go back out where he's doing whatever it is that he's doing.

Ynez says a silent prayer as she leaves the bedroom, then stops in the hallway to watch him. He looks tired, depressed even. She feels like such a burden.

"I'm sorry."

The words are out before she can stop them.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius looks up at her words, and he can't help but to notice how she looks. He doesn't remember her looking quite that strained and worn before she left, despite the trouble they were having even then. He really should have let her know when he was landing, and then perhaps he would not have added to the things that were bothering her.

Standing up, he walks slowly over to her and then reaches out with one hand to gently brush a curl back behind her ear. "I should have told you when I was arriving."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez feels her lower lip quiver alarmingly. She bites it. She doesn't want to cry. The tenderness of that touch doesn't feel at all priestly. A sad empty ache opens up inside her.

"I'm not doing so well with sudden changes these days. I can't help it."

She wraps her arms tightly around herself again, just to keep from reaching out to him. She's missed him so much.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

She looks to him as though she may cry, and it bothers him that he may be the cause of her tears. If there was one thing that he never wanted to do, it was to hurt her in any way. Yet, it seems he can't quite stop doing so.

He leaves his hand in her hair, and lets the palm of his hand gently cup her cheek as he steps closer to her. "It has been a hard couple of months for the both of us I fear."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"It has."

Ynez leans slightly into the gentle touch on her cheek. She doesn't intend to touch him, but her hand moves on its own, coming up to rest flat on his chest. She can feel his heart beat beneath her palm. If she opens her mouth to say anything more, she knows she'll either cry or say something she shouldn't, so instead she just looks mutely up at him, pleading for his forgiveness.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

When her hand touches him, he can feel his heartbeat quicken slightly. It has been a long time since she tried to touch him in such a way, and although he hadn't really realized it until now, he had missed the simple touch.

Looking down at her, the look in her eyes is enough to make his heart hurt for what they have both been through to this point. Perhaps now is the time for them to try and heal the life they have been trying to build together.

Gently, he reaches out and wraps her into his arms. "Ynez, I love you. Anything that needed to be forgiven was done the moment it happened."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez holds herself stiffly, resisting just for a moment before relaxing into his arms. For the longest time, she's wanted him to reach for her, and to do it because he wants to, not because she wants him to.

"I don't deserve that. I really don't."

He's too good to her. He puts up with things he shouldn't have to and in return, she can't let herself trust him when he pulls her close, can't let herself trust the contact. Nevertheless, her arms steal around his waist. Her busy worried brain isn't quite as much in control as she would have it.

"I love you, Darius. I've missed you so much."

The words are muffled against his chest. He smells so good.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Darius gently strokes her back with one hand, his fingers gently winding into her hair on occasion. He likes being close to her like this, and while he is still getting used to the idea of having this kind of personal and rather intimate contact with someone, it is not as difficult for him as it was just a few months previously.

"I think you deserve that and more."

He looks down at her and smiles softly. He had already known he missed her, but he had not really realized how much until she had opened the door. "I love you too, Ynez, and I don't believe I have the proper words to express how much I have missed you."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

The touch of his hands is soothing. The little coils of anxiety that had knotted so tightly when she opened the door to find him standing there begin to loosen. Ynez wants him to hold her this way always. This is what she's missed, and what she's needed.

"I'll try to never go away again. I don't like being apart from you."

Maybe they can work this out together. His hand moves gently across her back and she relaxes. Maybe they can.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

Continuing the soft caressing, Darius can start to feel her body relaxing beneath his touch. He is glad that he can be of some comfort to her, as she is to him. Even with all the problems that they have had with each other, her presence has always been something he cherishes. He has spent too long perhaps, without that kind of close companionship, and so hers is always seen as a gift.

"If you do need to go away again, then I will simply have to go with you. Then we can avoid being apart without compromising other things that need attending too."

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"I like that idea." Closing her eyes, she rubs her cheek against his chest, letting her doubts and anxiety fade, as much as they ever do. She isn't thinking about what it would mean for him to actually travel with her the next time she goes to Los Angeles. They'll cross that river when they get there. Right now, she's just grateful for his presence.

"Thank you for coming to New York. I..."

She doesn't even know what it is she wants to tell him. There aren't any words to express her relief and pleasure.

There isn't anyplace that feels like home anymore unless he's there.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

He bends his head and softly kisses the top of her head. "I am glad for the opportunity to come and be with you again."

There's so much that he wants to say, and yet words that he usually finds so easy to come by seem to have simply dissolved in her presence. Right now, just them being close and needing each other is more telling than any words he could possibly say at the moment. Despite everything that has happened and all the miscommunication that has gone on between them, they love each other, and that is enough.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

"I changed the sheets on the bed for you, so you can sleep in there."

Ynez cuddles as close to him as she can and holds him, basking in the warmth of his love. She's been afraid that she lost something after Loki changed him, and it wasn't fair to him, or to her. While the way he was before the change doesn't seem as dramatic to her as it seems to to him, she's willing to admit that if she lost anything, it wasn't important in the first place. Darius is who matters. She'll be as patient with him as she can be and remember that he reached out to her first today.

[on-holy-ground.livejournal.com]

"Will we be keeping to the arrangements we had before?"

His fingers run gently through her hair as they talk. He still loves the texture of it, even though she tends to complain about it on those off days when it doesn't want to do what she wants.

His other hand is resting lightly against the small of her back, holding her in place albeit with little pressure. There's just enough to let her know his hand is there.

[ynez-castillo.livejournal.com]

Ynez looks up at him, uncertain as to his meaning.

"I'll sleep on the couch until you tell me otherwise. I want to be with you, Darius, but I'll wait until you feel comfortable."

Might as well say it and get it out of the way. She smiles. "Comfortable" is sort of a funny way to describe the passion she already knows they're capable of.

"I already know you're worth waiting for. For as long as it takes."